To the future of #redswag.

To the lucky inheritor of the leadership mantle of the beloved teen group of CK BYU:

I have a few points of advice that may prove useful in the upcoming months before the eighth year of Camp Kesem BYU. Take them or leave them as you wish; I offer them as learned from experience. 

Plan everything as far in advance as possible. Most importantly, pick a campsite big enough for everyone to play together but still have privacy; ensure insured transportation can transport both kids and supplies; plan simple activities that encourage team-building. Think realistically about what food is needed and what is feasible on a camp-out. Make sure you or someone you know will let you borrow the necessary supplies: tents, grills, sleeping bags, water coolers, ice coolers, firewood. Brainstorm cabin chat questions, some funny and some serious. Try doing the hike before the week of to see how difficult it is, how long it takes, where it starts and ends. 

End formal letter. But really, most of that stuff I didn't do quite right. But where I fell so short, my counselors and teens made up for it (I feel like I'm bearing my testimony). Dang it, I forgot to think about cabin chat questions again, and here we are around the campfire, ready for cabin chat. Squirrel is all over it. Wait, Oboe and Reader just collided in the game of glow-in-the-dark capture the flag that results in injuries every year?? No worries, Hawkeye has the medical skills and Poseidon and Fisher take care of comforting. We're told we have to keep the rule of three even going to the bathroom and the teens are awesome at adjusting without complaining (unlike me). Oddish is falling behind on the hike, but oh look, DK is right there talking and encouraging. Hmm, I really don't want to drive back and start dinner. Good thing Baloo and Chowder offered to. How are we going to evacuate if the wildfire gets closer? Nobody could help with that, but luckily we didn't need to. I couldn't be everywhere and do everything, but I didn't need to be.

You have a lot of responsibility, future #redswag coordinator. You wear a watch and have the schedule of events and tell people when to be where and what to do. It might not seem as fun as last year when you were just a regular counselor and goofed off and went with the flow of things. But live in the moment! Yeah, you're going to be late regardless of how many times you radio your co and tell him/her to get their boys/girls to the meeting spot. (Oh, and having a radio is awesome.) But chill out. Be as prepared as you can before camp, and then go and have the best week of your life. Hint: even if you don't prepare that great, it's still amazing. Because it's the kids that make camp, not you. And even though you have no idea what you're doing, they love you so much, and you can't help but love them until it hurts. 

Give them my love,

Pepper

Some picture mementos:

I love the rainbow :)

The whole camp!!

Oboe and Mozzi at the playa

Cmer, Mozzi, and Skippy

Girls take pictures, boys play in water

Hot mazing, Fisher, Reader and Oboe. They're siblings, FYI

Why yes, we did see the lightning strike the knoll that set the entire hilltop ablaze.

Reader being Reader.

Firefly, Cmer (sisters), Skippy, Mozzi

Silly Squirel!

Mozzi always looks good, but especially on the ropes course.

I LOVE THIS PICTURE. Those are my teens!

What made up for my lack of activity planning...

Reader being Reader again.

All counselors! Best kids around.

My peeps. Minus Squirel. Gosh I can't say enough about them!!

#redswaggggg

hahahah the time I was the legs of a pregnant lady pretending to be more pregnant and I got a little wet.

really tiring counselor dance. 

Our home.

Here it is. In all its unkempt splendor. Including the two tables of clean dishes after making pumpkin whoopies, cookies, and butternut squash pasta with pumpkin sauce. And bonus: Brian in his natural habitat.

Walk  in the door and put your shoes in the black cupboards. I eventually (soon)
want to get little baskets for some cubbies to put mittens and hats in.

Hang a left and here's our living room full of craigslist furniture! I love the chest
myself. And the mirror. Grandpa's temple picture is hanging to the left. That blue
couch flips out into a bed, so come visit. Also, the leather couch reclines.

Through the doorway is the second-bedroom-turned-study! Diplomas hung
appropriately on the wall. Blackboard behind Brian. Brian hard at work.

Back out of the study you face the hearth. With no mantle. And my
favorite wedding pictures! And our Jack O'Lanterns.

Another left and you're in the kitchen! Trash is ready to be taken out. Through that doorway and...

bedroom! Bed made. Every day. Seriously.

Back into the kitchen and we see our five-dollar yard-sale clock and my ivy and
pots that are trying to grow oregano and thyme. We also have a SWEET table
with a leaf that you can hide in the table. 

We just put up that spice rack. I love it.

On the way out, here's the bathroom right across from the black cubbies!
Come again!

What would you do?

I just made a really hard decision. Perhaps as you read this, you'll think I'm naive and inexperienced in life's choices, and that's probably true. It doesn't negate the fact that this was really hard for me.

As most of you know, Brian and I moved to Pittsburgh about a month ago. I just graduated from BYU in August, and my major (International Relations) isn't very employable unless I have a Master's (and honestly, even then I don't know what I'd do). My minor is slightly more employable, and ideally I would have found a job in Pittsburgh that included an editing role. The past month involved applying for too many jobs to count, and most were jobs that someone without a college degree could perform, which was humbling and frustrating. I finally got asked to interview at the Everest Institute in downtown Pittsburgh. My understanding is that they're basically a trade school: students of all ages pick what they want to do from a list of programs (massage therapy, paralegal, pharmacy technician, etc) and they receive specific training to successfully perform job requirements. Many students are the first generation of college goers in their family and come from difficult home situations and did not do well in high school. It would be my job to contact the high school demographic of potential students and inform them about the programs and, if interested, get them to commit to Everest for the fall. I would then follow up with them, give them tours of the campus, and help them (albeit in a minor role) until they graduated nine months later. The man who was my liaison with the school was very up front with me: despite the official job title of high school admissions representative, I'd be a sales rep. I was selling the school to these high school kids, and I could make upwards of 200 phone calls a day. I'd live on the phone while I was at work. He had done the same job before, and he said it was really hard. What really impressed me about him and everyone else I talked to at Everest was their passion for helping people. It was energizing and empowering. My hours would be 8-5 M and W, 11-8 T and Th, and half days F and S. I would get paid $38.5k and have benefits. I would drive the twenty minutes to a parking lot outside of downtown, pay the $5/day to park there, take a free bus into downtown, and work in the middle of bustling Pittsburgh, on the 12th floor of a building off of Forbes.

Right after my final interview with Everest, I received an email from one of the nannying jobs I had applied for. I would nanny for a sweet six-week-old infant girl named Mila, whose parents lived about a mile from my house on a street right next to Highland Park, where I run to almost every morning. The parents were extremely welcoming and, despite my lack of documented or formal experience with infants, thought I was the perfect fit for their family. I would help sleep train the baby and was welcome to any and all of the food in the house. A cute little dog named Atea would accompany Mila and I on walks around the park. I would get paid $13/hr ($2 more than the average for nannys in the area), have paid vacation time, and would work M-Th either 8-5 or 9-5 depending on the mom's schedule. Having Fridays off would enable me to much more vigorously pursue freelance editing, which would result in income while Brian and I were in Portugal in a couple of years.

Maybe you already know which one you would pick. My purpose in looking for a job was to supplement our family's income and allow us to save for our future family and expenses. I also really wanted a job where I could help people, which is a vague way to make up for what I don't always get out of editing. Editing is great and I love it, but the results are less obviously bettering people's lives than other careers, such as a teacher. Both jobs wanted me to start this week.

What would you do?

Our day.

I woke up too early. But really, it's completely excusable taking into account what day it was. Just my wedding day, no big deal. No wait, very big deal. Biggest deal of my life to date.

I stared at the ceiling. It was already light out and the sun cast cool shadows from the lacy curtains on the ceiling and wall. I didn't really think about anything--just basked in knowing what was coming so soon. It was a surface basking. Nothing had still quite sunk in yet. I wasn't used to Brian and I being in the same country yet, so the fact we were actually finally getting married today certainly hadn't sunk in. But time moves on whether you're ready or not.

Ellen didn't have to do too much to my hair again except pin it back up. The natural-toned makeup was quickly and lightly applied, and the fake eyelashes once again glued on. I felt exactly the way I dreamed of feeling on my wedding day: beautiful.

We drove to Boston, me and Mom and Corinne and Dulce and Brian. Given the earliness of the hour, most people caught a little shut eye. I just held Brian's hand.

Brian and I got to sit for awhile in the celestial room. Awhile is relative; I have no idea how long it actually was, but I felt like it had been the perfect amount of time when we were asked if we were ready to go to the sealing room.

From here on out, I admit, details are a bit fleeting. Walking into the sealing room, I saw Ellen and Ashley, which triggered the tears that turned into a continuous stream until I returned the the bridal room after the ceremony. Ellen had forgotten her temple recommend (same as me at her wedding!) and Ashley had been really sick the day before, so to see them both there, along with my other sisters and parents and extended family and Brian's family, was really emotional. This was my eternal family in this room! I didn't need to believe the plan of salvation was true; in that moment, in that sealing room, I knew it. I knew I could be with my family forever. I knew that Brian and I could be together forever if we kept the covenants we were about to make. The tears in Brian's eyes signaled to me that he felt it, too. And so I cried, fairly hard, during my grandfather's words that bound us together, while I said, "Yes," and especially while my family and his family walked by and hugged us on their way out.

I had the bridal room to myself. Mom helped me into my dress, Ellen fixed me up again (thank goodness), and Grandma positioned Brian at the end of the hall so he could see me right when I walked out. Of course, he couldn't just watch me walk down the hall to him; he quickly came by my side and escorted me out of the temple, where cheers and camera flashes awaited our first official kiss as husband and wife.

And the rest is history. After a lot of pictures and subway at the luncheon and final goodbyes to loved ones, we got dropped off as husband and wife at the cruise terminal. I'm not sure when it will sink in that I'm finally married to Brian. It's been three months, and I still get sad every morning when he leaves at 7:30 and excited every night around 7 anticipating his return from school. I even catch myself admiring my ring like I just got engaged. I suppose I thought eventually I would be accustomed to being Brian's wife. It's the status quo now, and I usually adjust quickly. But not this time, and I don't mind a bit! While every day isn't roses and gumdrops, every day is an opportunity to serve and love my other half, and I can't imagine being happier. Except maybe if we had a kitchen table and chairs. 

Hello, Pittsburgh.

No, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. Sometimes I feel like it, though. I really wish I had an iPhone or a camera so that I could document every step of this crazy time in Pittsburgh, but I guess a picture couldn't really capture the relief of having a working fridge after three days of no electricity, or the panic of being lost on my way to Bed, Bath & Beyond (again), or the taste of the homemade tomato sauce, dowry rolls, and reverse whoopies I made for dinner. A camera could capture our beautiful high ceiling apartment with its big windows and wood floors, our lack of furniture (we just got a desk chair! Yay for sitting down!), and the lush, green hills that make up the majority of Pittsburgh (and make my runs extra hard).

It's definitely been more difficult than I thought it would be to move out here, which I don't like to say because everyone moves and why should I whine about it! But luckily, I have a husband who loves me and works hard, an awesome ward, a functional car, and maybe even a few job options (like receptionist at a pet hospital. Sweet, right?). Life is good.

Blog posts to come: Wedding Day, Honeymoon Cruise, Camp Kesem, Life as a stay at home...wife.

Bye Provo.

While sitting in the SLC airport looking for kitchen chairs, sofas, and dressers on craigslist for our new apartment in Pittsburgh, I realized for the tenth time in the past few days that I'm not coming back here. I have a different emotional reaction each time I remember I'm leaving Provo indefinitely. Usually it's some form of excitement: I'm leaving my college town to move to PA with my husband and get a full time job! But the past couple days I've had really mixed emotions. I'm leaving a lot of people I hold very dear. I won't name you, both for fear of forgetting someone and of the length of the list, but you know who you are: freshman buddies, best friends, sisters, CK siblings. I just feel really blessed to have met and been friends with so many fantastic people who taught me so much. God really does work through other people.

Til next time, Provo.

PS: I still cry thinking about the three angels who stopped by my apartment last night at midnight and helped me clean

June 13-14, 2013.

We both arrived the day before. Exhausted from red eyes, excited to get married, thrilled to finally be in the same place, Brian and I got our marriage license from the Boston City Hall (with the kind help of Mark and Sarah and lil Jack, and their car) with only one hiccup ("Woodsbury"... *fist shake*). A three-hour bus ride home through some heavy traffic and rain, and we finally get to see our families and dinner at 1 High View Road, Cape Elizabeth, Maine.

Beyond the excitement that accompanies a huge and important life-changing event like getting married, I was excited to see my family. I really love my family. I think sometimes I get tired of being responsible for buying and making food, doing school work, keeping track of rent and utilities, cleaning the apartment, being nice to everyone. But at home, I just feel taken care of, even if it's just Mom, Dad, and Sam.

Of course, this weekend, there was quite a bit more family around. Jordan got work off (so happy about that!) and drove up with Lindsay and the boys and little EmmaMae, whom I got to meet for the first time. Corinne and sweet Dulce made it. Camille, Eric and the twinsies drove down from Freeport. And from Brian's side, we had Steven and Jill, Aaron, and Jim and Tamy (married the weekend before us!). I was really glad Caitlin was there too! With the bus getting in so late, my family had already eaten, but my dad and I showed the Swenson crew how to eat a lobster. Everyone got squirted with lobster water and grossed out by the "sand" tube, but who doesn't like lobster? Meanwhile, my dad was constantly and quietly serving, making sure the food gets to everybody and that dishes stay stocked and cups stay full.

Aaron's face says it all. Jill seems pretty excited though.

Jordo had grown up so much since I had last
seen him! No pants and watermelon, life doesn't
get much better.

We then gathered in the living room, so many people the room felt small. Brian and I had a small mountain of presents in the corner, so we opened them while we talked with everyone. We opened some really nice gifts; people are so thoughtful! My favorite was probably Pandemic from his dad... I'm obsessed with that game.

Probably our fourth serving tray. People are trying to tell us
to entertain/be more social

Pandemic is in my lap. Camille was the lucky one who got to sit next to the happy couple :)

Meanwhile, anyone who could think of a childhood story of me or Brian was quick to relate it. Caitlin told about the time we had a lemonade sale and we hadn't mixed it very well, so we were left with a bunch of sludge at the bottom; I didn't want to waste it, so we ate it! The stories made me laugh and blush and feel cared about and noticed. At the end of the evening, we handed out the boys' suspenders and ties, which of course they couldn't resist trying on.

A web of suspenders led to...

Some really hip guys. I love this picture.

The next day started off with some serious girly-ness: pedicures. I don't know why we didn't get any pictures! I went with Caitlin, Lindsay, and Camille, and it was so fun! We sat in these huge massage chairs and got our feet massaged and lotioned and done up all nice. And I just love being with my sisters and Caitlin. So kind.

I honestly don't remember what happened after that until Ellen came! She drove up from Boston with her mom and Lindy (so glad they could all come!). Ellen had been in Arizona for a few weeks by this point and it was really great to see her. She and Caitlin quickly got down to the business of making me look the part of a bride.

Jacob is in a daze over what girls do.

Ellen did a fantastic job on my hair!!

Caitlin did the final zip/button up. She was amazingly wonderful at doing whatever I needed: helping with makeup, holding my bouquet during formals, driving me and anyone else to the reception and home again, letting Brian and his groomsmen stay at her house, the list goes on and on. 

Ellen has been a huge blessing since day one. Besides being my friend unconditionally, she was particularly good at making me look beautiful for the wedding :) I really couldn't have done it without her (and her mom's and sister's makeup). I loved having her help with the formals by holding the lipstick and our phones and letting me use her veil. I just feel really confident when she's with me.

The photographer suggested we do a first look, which we felt a little awkward about, but I liked the pictures from it. And Brian loved my dress. Almost as much as I do.

taking a step back to get the full picture

Then we headed off to Fort Williams for the formals. This is probably when time started going really fast. Or maybe time sped up when I was walking towards Brian for the first look. All I know is that I knew I was in my wedding dress with my hair done and makeup on, but I'm not sure that it quite sank in til much later that I was finally getting married. It didn't feel real; it was the kind of feeling where it was too good to be true. Was I really in this beautiful dress kissing my fiance who was looking particularly dashing in his gray suit? And were we really getting photographed in front of the Portland Headlight, one of my favorite places in the entire world? Yes, yes we were.

I love how my hair looks in this one.

Kate kept telling us to engage, like just talk and act normal
with each other. I'm not sure how successful we were at it.

Check out the green inside of B's suit.

so happy!

I had anticipated being stressed out the day of the reception and wedding, but perhaps because I felt a little detached, I wasn't worried about a thing. We were running a little late to the reception for pictures before hand, but I think everything went really smoothly. I'm not sure how my parents felt about it all, and my bridesmaids were probably a little stressed, but everyone took good care of the bride. We took pictures with the family before the reception really started. I love all the greenery that made such beautiful, textured backgrounds.

We arrived in style, of course.

Brian getting credit-carded. If you don't know what that is, you don't want to know.

The sisters!

besties :) She's amazing.

all family

immediate family (Earnshaw boys need to learn to not wear suspenders plus belts...)

Veenstra (best man) and the bridesmaids. Fake laugh, can you tell?

Brian and his mom

me and my dad

me and my mom

I've talked about the difficulties of long-distance engagement while planning a wedding taking place in a different place, but it really wasn't that hard for me. I would tell my mom and dad some vague idea of what I thought might be nice, and they put it into action, renting tents, meeting with flower people, making vanilla, creating delicious food, and so much more. Brian and I cannot thank them enough. Thanks, Mom and Dad!!

Brian with his dad and Tamy (congrats to them, too!)

We finished off the photo session with a little walk through waist-high grass.
That was probably the most stressful part: tics.

Then the reception started! We were up in Gorham on Caitlin's family's land and it was 
beautiful.  The perfect temperature, no bugs until after dark, and amazing scenery. Oh, and 
the company and food were superb.

I had initially been concerned about being the center of attention (with Brian of course). I'm 
not one to really enjoy parties; people who know me know I'd rather be reading than 
socializing. But it was so natural and fun to talk to all the loved ones who came to see me and 
Brian on this big day! The only hard part was not being able to talk to everybody for long 
enough. Brian and I both like really being able to listen and talk one-on-one, which wasn't 
always possible at the reception. We felt really loved!

Before everyone came...

and after! I spy Ellen!

Guests were invited to write some advice on a vintage postcard
and take a bottle of vanilla (homemade by my mom, stickers designed
by Corinne).

Then they hung them up with mini-clothes pins!
There were some really nice/funny things people wrote to us :

Camille made this cake. Brian still talks about how amazing it was.
And I still can't believe how beautiful it turned out.

Grandma Conklin arranged all the centerpieces, which was so kind!
I had told my mom, "Yeah, maybe a burlap table runner and some big wax candles
and flowers and a picture of me and Brian?" Look how beautiful she made it look!

Can't go wrong with a chocolate fountain. And the man who was in charge of it was so helpful!
He helped us open the knife for cutting the cake and helped clean up after. All around, just really helpful.

Apparently cutting the cake was hard. It actually was,
I didn't want a huge piece because my mouth is too tiny!

Understandably, my mom wanted a picture with sparklers. We felt weird having a sparkler send off since we weren't
married yet, but we did try to get all the kids to circle us with sparklers! It was crazy and hilarious. You can see how
the kids felt about sparklers. Brian and I at first tried to direct kids and help light sparklers, but then we just stood
back and laughed.

My high school friends came!
These are some of my favorite people who I really wished I had gotten to talk to more!

The family that made it all possible. But really. The Pomeroys have been a second family to me since Caitlin and I 

have been friends, a.k.a., forever. I love being with them.

After a while of not sleeping and being really social, Brian and I were pretty tired (I think 

I was especially). We finally checked my phone in the back of Caitlin's big red truck that

had been our mode of transportation to formals and the reception, and we realized Brian's

friend Talmage was wandering around my neighborhood in the dark and fog! His flight 

had been really delayed (something about cockpit on fire), and he had to take a taxi to 

my house after flying into Portland. We drove sleepily home. Then Brian partied at

Caitlin's with Veenstra and Talmage, and Ellen and I went immediately to bed.