So I heard about Camp Kesem two years ago from my friend Cameron (hereafter referred to as Sulley) because he was wearing a CK shirt and I asked about it. I don't remember anything about that conversation, only that I knew it existed. Then Ellen (Glinda) had a friend from Illinois do camp, and said she had to do it, so Glinda applied in February. I was planning on the mish, so I didn't sign up. Come August, however, I found myself not on a mission, in Provo, homeless, and ready for fun/distracting things. I applied to be a counselor and found myself driving to Camp Kostopolous in Emigration Canyon by Salt Lake for a week of being a leader for 14-16 year olds. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.
Instead of doing a play-by-play of every detail of camp, perhaps a journal entry from the night after I got back would do a better job of portraying how I felt about it. But just as an overview, Camp Kesem is a free camp for kids who have a parent with cancer. As counselors, it's our job to help them have as much fun as possible. There are themed dress up days, rotations of awesome activities, serious times and times you laugh so hard you cry. I camped out for two nights with the teens, and frankly, it was the best week of the summer where I made some of my best friends. Feel free to donate to it here; I can think of few better uses of money.
Journal Excerpt from August 18
Whew, thinking a lot of thoughts after camp. I’m thinking what I like about all the teens, all the kids in general, the other counselors, the idea of the camp, my co-counselors, what I learned about myself and the balance I’m perpetually trying to achieve. I’m definitely still introverted. Camp exhausted me both physically and socially, holy cow. I haven’t been that loud and outgoing since I was a youth leader for girls camp all those years ago. I tried really hard. But there were also times when I didn’t try and I didn’t play the game and I just sat and watched. And I got kind of down on myself for those times because I was like come on, I gotta take full advantage of this while I’m here. But then I was also thinking, is it really necessary to be so outgoing all the time? Like why do I think in my head that I need to be like that? It’s ok to be quiet sometimes. I loved how I felt ok to be open and crazy when I wanted to, though, because usually I don’t feel comfortable being like that with people I don’t know or just met. I felt perfectly comfortable with my kids. Not to the point where I wanted to just tell them everything. I was still pretty closed in that respect, like about my thoughts. But when it came to how I felt about them, I couldn’t lavish enough compliments. I was scared driving up to Camp K and thinking I was about to be a counselor at a camp I’d never been to with other counselors I’d never met to teens I’d never seen. I could not have asked for a better group of kids. It was amazing. They all loved helping. Literally all of them. I’m still in disbelief about it. How many 14-16 year olds do you know that would volunteer to take out the trash, start the fire, set up the tents, chop the food, get you a drink? And what are the chances I would have 11 of those 14-16 year olds in my group? Yeah, there were some weird kids. Laura had aspergers and Tigerstripe was homeschooled. But everyone loved them. They were completely included. There was no unintentional segregation or exclusion. There was intentional service and inclusion. It was so heartening. And then during the empowerment ceremony when I felt just for a second what it was really like to know that one of my parents was diagnosed with a chronic, incurable illness. Or that a parent had already died of it. It was overwhelming to me that all those kids had that feeling. It made me mad they had to have that. I wanted them to have the best childhood ever and they couldn’t because their mom was relapsing or their dad died. Little Frost didn’t have a dad. Tigerstripe’s mom would die anytime and she wasn’t worried about that, but she was worried about her dad being able to connect with the kids. I hurt for them so bad. I still hurt for them. Sure, they can be regular kids and their parents have probably been diagnosed for awhile, but at the end of the day, they might not always have a parent. They always have that reality hanging over them. And from what I could see, it did not turn any of them into bitter, angry kids. Wall-E made a comment during a cabin chat about the war in Alma that softened the hearts of some and hardened the hearts of others. Having a parent with cancer softened these kids in unbelievable ways. The most impressive kid to me was Stud. He knew his worth. He knew he was a good kid who was good at sports and had a good heart. But instead of being a punk about it, he used himself completely to help others. I can’t think of anything he did to help himself. We would always fight to go last in the food line, and he always won. To distract him while we wrote his birthday card, we asked if someone could help in the kitchen, knowing that he would be the first to volunteer to help. He always asked “What can I do to help?” Always and without fail. He never complained. He never talked about himself. He never got embarrassed. He did what needed to be done perfectly because that’s what he wanted to do. If my children are anything like him, I will be the happiest mother on the planet. And he just moved and his mom just got remarried and he’s the oldest and I think his dad died of cancer, I don’t know. All I know is that he taught me so much about what service actually is. And so many of the other kids followed right in his footsteps. Still amazing to me.
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